A Healthy Relationship

What Constitutes a Healthy Relationship?
If you're in a relationship or want to be, you probably want it to be a good one. But, exactly, what is a healthy relationship? That varies.

Because everyone's requirements vary, healthy partnerships do not look the same for everyone. Communication, sex, affection, space, common interests or ideals, and so on, may vary over your life.

In light of this, a relationship that is successful in your twenties might not be the same as the one you want in your thirties.

Even though they might not fit the more common definitions of love, some relationships can be beneficial. People who practice polyamory or ethical nonmonogamy, for example, may define a good relationship differently from those who practice monogamy.

In summary, the term "healthy relationship" is a broad one since what makes a relationship thrive is determined by the requirements of the parties involved.

However, a few essential indicators of thriving partnerships stand out.

What it appears to be

"adaptability is something that healthy relationships have in common." They adapt to circumstances and the truth that life is an ongoing process of evolution and transition.

Here are a few additional indications of a solid partnership.

Open communication

In healthy partnerships, partners communicate about their lives: their accomplishments, failures, and everything in between.

You should feel comfortable discussing any difficulties that arise, from little ones such as job or friend stress to more significant issues such as mental health symptoms or financial concerns.

Even if they disagree, they listen without judgment and then give their point of view.

Communication is two-way. You must have faith in their ability to voice any issues or suggestions they may have.

People in non-monogamous relationships may appreciate emotional check-ins and frequent communication about what's going on with other partners even more.

Trust

Honesty and integrity are required for trust. You don't hide anything from each other. You don't have to be concerned about them chasing other people when you're apart.

However, trust extends beyond thinking that they would not cheat or lie to you.

It also implies that you feel secure and comfortable with them and are confident that they will neither physically nor emotionally harm you. You know they have your best interests at heart, but you also respect them enough to let you make your own decisions.

A feeling of self as a distinct individual

Interdependence is the best way to characterize healthy partnerships. Interdependence indicates that you rely on one another for mutual assistance while maintaining your distinct identities.

To put it another way, your relationship is balanced. You are conscious of their love and acceptance, but your self-worth is independent of them. Although you support one another, you don't rely on one another to take care of all your needs.

You maintain friendships and contacts outside of the relationship and devote time to your own interests and hobbies.

Curiosity

Curiosity is a vital feature of healthy, long-term love. This indicates that you are curious about their views, aspirations, and daily lives. You want to see them develop to their full potential. You're not fixated on their past or what you think they ought to be.

Time apart

Most individuals in good relationships value spending time together, although the amount of time you spend together might vary depending on personal requirements, job and other responsibilities, living circumstances, and so on.

But you also know the need for personal space and alone time. Perhaps you will spend this time resting alone, enjoying a pastime, or visiting friends or relatives.

Whatever you do, you don't have to spend every moment together or assume that your relationship suffers when you spend time apart.

Playfulness or lightheartedness

When the mood strikes, it's crucial to create time for fun and spontaneity. If you two can joke around and have a good time, that's a good sign.

Life issues or distress may impact one or both of you at times. This might momentarily alter the tone of your relationship and make it difficult to relate to each other in the manner you are used to. Even so, it strengthens your bond to be able to laugh together and let off steam during trying times.

Physical intimacy

Intimacy is frequently associated with sex, but not necessarily. Not everyone likes or desires sex. If you and your partner are committed to taking care of each other's needs, your relationship may still be strong even without it.

If you don't want to have sex, physical closeness might include kissing, embracing, snuggling, and sleeping together. Physical connection and bonding are crucial to any sort of intimacy.

If you and your partner like sex, your physical connection is probably healthy when you:

• feel comfortable initiating and discussing sex 
• can take rejection positively 
• can communicate wishes
• feel comfortable expressing your want for more or less sex

Respecting sexual limits is also part of healthy intimacy.

This includes the following:

•  refraining from pressing partners about sex or particular sex behaviors when they refuse
•  the exchange of information about other partners
• examining sexual risk factors

Teamwork

A solid partnership may be referred to as a team. You collaborate and support one another even when you don't agree on everything or have goals that aren't exactly the same.

Dispute resolution

Even in a good relationship, you will have disputes and feel disappointed or angry with each other on occasion. That is very typical. This in no way implies that your marriage is unhealthy.

What is important is how you handle disagreement. You're on the right track if you can discuss your disagreements calmly, honestly, and with respect. Partners who confront disputes without judgment or contempt are more likely to reach an agreement or discover a solution.

Partnership red flags

Your relationship should make you feel fulfilled, happy, and connected. If you become more uneasy, angry, or unhappy when your spouse is around, your marriage may be in trouble.

Because the symptoms of an unhealthy relationship can vary greatly, this list is not exhaustive. However, it may serve to highlight certain potential difficulties.

One of you seeks to control or modify the other

"other people cannot be changed."

If you are worried about a specific behavior, you should feel safe bringing it up. It is OK to raise your concerns and request that they consider making adjustments. But telling them what to do or attempting to control their behavior is not acceptable. If they do something that genuinely irritates you and you can't accept it, the relationship may not have long-term prospects.

Your spouse does not respect your boundaries

Boundaries may affect your relationship in a variety of ways, from polite communication to privacy demands. If you set a limit and they push back or force you to modify it, this is a major red flag.

Perhaps you said, "When I get home from work, I need privacy." Although I'm happy to see you, I need to unwind before making any kind of physical contact.

But they keep approaching you when you go home, wanting to kiss you and drag you into the bedroom. They apologize and claim "they simply can't help themselves" when you say no.

You might dismiss this as a gesture of devotion and keep reiterating the boundaries, expecting they'll understand someday. They appear to be oblivious to your demands, though, based on their behavior.

You don't spend much time together

Relationships generally form when individuals like each other's company and desire to spend more time together. Life events might sometimes interfere with your time together, although these disruptions are typically brief.

If you routinely see less of each other for no apparent cause, such as family issues or more duties at work, your relationship may be in trouble. Other warning indicators include feeling distant from each other or relieved when you are not together. You can even try to make excuses to avoid spending time together.

The connection appears unequal

Healthy partnerships are usually reasonably balanced. You might split cash evenly or compensate for a lesser income by performing extra errands. However, relationship equality may also refer to intangibles like affection, communication, and relationship expectations.

Periods of inequity can occur at any moment. One of you may have a temporary loss of income, struggle to assist with tasks owing to illness, or feel less loving as a result of stress or other emotional problems.

However, if your relationship feels uneven frequently, this might become troublesome.

They say nasty or unpleasant things about you or others

There is nothing wrong with expressing concern when your partner does anything that causes you concern. In a good relationship, however, partners take care to communicate their emotions in useful, constructive ways.

It's unhealthy to continually criticize or purposefully injure each other, especially when it comes to personal preferences like cuisine, dress, or favorite TV series. Criticism that makes you feel embarrassed or horrible about yourself is usually counterproductive.

You don't feel heard in the relationship

Perhaps you don't feel heard since they appear uninterested when you bring up a topic or discuss something on your mind. Or you may find it difficult to express your viewpoint or discuss serious subjects because you are afraid they will dismiss you. Of course, miscommunications might occur.

However, if you do discuss a problem with them and they appear receptive but do not make any adjustments or appear to have entirely forgotten what you said by the next day, this is also a red flag.

You're scared to disagree

Partners should always feel confident expressing their own thoughts, even if they disagree. If your spouse replies to your (differing) point of view with disdain, scorn, or other rudeness, it's a sign that they don't value you or your views.

If you find yourself restricting everything you say because you're afraid of their reaction, or if you're always "stepping on eggshells," as puts it, it's time to get professional treatment.

You don't feel joyful or at ease in the presence of your partner

Many people have significant relationship goals that include greater happiness and life satisfaction. If you are always nervous or dissatisfied, the relationship may not satisfy your requirements. This may occur even if you both are making an effort to improve your relationship. People evolve, so feeling unsatisfied and stuck does not always imply that either of you has done anything "wrong." You may have just evolved into separate people who no longer mesh nicely.

Disagreements or conversations are pointless

Healthy conflict resolution usually results in resolution or compromise. Maintaining a relationship is a continuous process, so you may not be able to resolve everything immediately. However, you typically feel good about the talks you have. Usually, you may notice some improvement. When you find yourself talking in circles or discussing the same topics all the time, it's not a good indication. Perhaps there is no progress, no matter how frequently you debate something. Maybe they'll just lock you out eventually.

Tips for establishing a stronger relationship

If any (or all) of the relationship red flags ring true for you, couples counseling may be a helpful next step. I explain that the goal of couples counseling is for the two people involved to work on each other. Getting help does not imply that you have failed. It signifies your desire to improve for yourself and for each other. Even the healthiest of relationships may benefit from a little additional effort from time to time. Here are some pointers to keep things moving in the right direction.

Accept each other's differences

Recognize and respect each other's unique personalities: "However, this is a positive dynamic since one of you may initiate activities or go on adventures while the other appreciates the quiet time and keeps the house fire burning."

Consider their viewpoint

Instead of trying to convince others to see things your way, be curious about what and how other people think.

Instead of trying to convince others to see things your way, be curious about what and how other people think.

Solve difficulties as a group

Instead of making each other the issue, cooperate to find solutions.

Ask for what you want while also being willing to listen to what others want. 

Ask for what you want while also being willing to listen to what others want. After all, you're two separate people. Finding a middle ground is critical.

Try something new together

Try something new together. A change of surroundings may sometimes alter your viewpoint.

Discuss your aspirations and dreams

This might help you reconnect and ensure that you still have comparable hopes and values.

                                                               The basic result is that while a common passion for spelunking and a similar taste for Indian food may have helped you meet your spouse, these characteristics have no bearing on sustaining a positive relationship over time.

Finally, you should trust each other and feel safe together. You should have faith in your team's capacity to learn and grow together.

If you're anxious about your relationship or suspect it's not as strong as it once was, listen to your intuition and investigate what these feelings signify. A therapist may advise you on when extra effort could be beneficial and when it's time to move on.