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20 Individuals Discuss the Greatest Love Advice They've Ever Received


The impact of love advice from an experienced person in your life depends on various factors, such as the quality of advice, the relevance of the advice to your specific situation, and your willingness to implement the advice.

Experienced individuals can offer valuable insights and perspectives based on their relationships and life experiences. They can provide guidance on communication, conflict resolution, trust-building, and other important aspects of romantic relationships.

However, it is important to remember that everyone's situation is unique, and what worked for one person may not work for another. Ultimately, it is up to you to assess the advice given and decide whether or not to apply it to your own life.

Additionally, it is important to consider the source of the advice. While well-intentioned, some advice-givers may be biased or offer advice that is not in your best interest. It is essential to seek advice from individuals you trust who have your best interests at heart. 

20 Individuals Discuss the Greatest Love Advice They've Ever Received

It's no secret that relationships are difficult, with their ups and downs, way, way ups, and oh-no-do-we-need-to-break-up downs. But the wonderful satisfaction of being loved and being loved in return is what drives all of us to traverse these turbulent seas. We do, however, require assistance from time to time. We asked the Cut's readers to offer the finest dating advice they've ever gotten anonymously. Their bits of wisdom are listed below.


1.    My mother, who has been married to my father for 44 years, once told me, "I'm not always in love with your father, but I always love him. And every time I fall back in love with him, I'm startled." My spouse and I have been married for 17 years. Because of my mother's guidance, I don't worry when we're going through a difficult moment; instead, I look forward to falling back in love with my spouse. And it's generally not a sexual time, like when one of our kids vomits in the middle of the night and he gets up to help me clean it up, then touches my foot with his foot when we eventually crawl back into bed. It is true love.

2.    That I cannot choose to emphasize the needs, whims, or life choices of a significant other at the price of losing my sense of self. If I become the best version of who my partner wants me to be (or who I believe he wants me to be), I'm hiding all the amazing pieces of myself that exist with or without that person.

3.    When you marry, be sure the person you chose is someone you want to marry as well as divorce. It emphasizes the necessity of selecting someone compassionate, loving, and good-hearted not just in good times but also in bad.

4.    A wise buddy once advised me to "first fit your own oxygen mask." I was in a poor place with depression and anxiety, attempting to construct a relationship that was never going to succeed by solving all of his problems while ignoring my own. It was the most powerful wake-up call I'd ever gotten, and I now repeat it like a parrot to everybody who asks for guidance. You cannot assist anyone else until your own oxygen mask is securely fastened.

5.    Partnerships are not 50/50. They're perfect. You must offer your spouse all you are capable of giving (love, understanding, forgiving, acceptance) and expect the same in return.

6.    Just because someone does not love you in the way you expect to be loved does not imply that they do not love you. That actually helped me think of fresh ways to appreciate individuals and made me feel less furious. I was constantly expecting others to behave the way I wanted them to, but it was nearly impossible to do it 90% of the time.

7.    Everyone advised me when I got married, "Never go to bed angry!" I discovered the exact reverse to be true. It's often beneficial to take a break from a heated debate or quarrel and, you know, sleep on it. Wake up refreshed, revitalised, and perhaps with a new viewpoint.

8.    "Believe individuals when they show you who they are." This counsel is wonderfully portrayed in Oprah and Maya Angelou's slumber-party film. Everyone requires this in their lives.

9.    When there is a dispute, focus on the connection rather than on others. I'm not sure where I heard this, but it's had a very good impact on my relationships. When anything comes up, rather than gossiping about my spouse to my friends, I try to discuss it with him straight. It enhances closeness and stops your peers from forever judging your spouse for what was most likely a brief issue.

10.    Before beginning an argument or becoming upset about anything minor, consider if you want to choose closeness or anger. It may sound obvious, but checking in with myself in this manner has helped me realise when my emotions are getting the best of me in any given circumstance with my spouse, and it reminds me that most things are not worth fighting over. There is typically a better method to speak with or comprehend my spouse.

11.    "Fuck happiness," 11th. This counsel stayed with me because it's so direct and so contrary to what we're taught to believe. We are so sold on "happily ever after," yet relationships are strongest when you can cope with and support each other during the foolish days, sad days, and boring days. Happiness is the byproduct, not the objective.

12.    My mother always advised me to ask questions on a first date since everyone wants to feel heard. And to always discard the person who does not respond to your queries.

13.    "Don't go in expecting them to be the one." This was crucial because I believe that if you suffer experienced betrayal at a young age (21 for me at the time), all you want to do is find your person, enjoy and develop with them, and live happily ever after. Since you want it so hard, you often force other people into boxes they don't want to be in, rather than taking things at face value, and the scenario blows up in your face very soon.

14.    The finest relationship advice I've ever heard came from a therapy website: Be honest with your spouse and with yourself. This really helped me get over a hard phase in my relationship, and it reminds me that I can only be honest with my spouse if I'm honest with myself first.

15.    The best bit of advice came from a movie... William Nighy's character in Richard Curtis's film About Time advises anyone seeking for love to choose someone decent. That is such an underappreciated yet necessary characteristic in any partner, and one that isn't prioritised high enough on "the list." It struck a chord with me, and I consider it regularly in how I handle romantic, platonic, and professional relationships.

16.    When I was 15, my mother told me, "Guys are like buses; a new one comes by every 15 minutes, so there's no need to sob if you miss the first one." It taught me that life goes on after a breakup, even when it appears to be the end of the world. There will be lots more chances to fall in love, and you shouldn't take rejection so seriously, especially when you're young.

17.    "It is a decision to stay." My mother said this to me when my marriage was definitely gone and I felt helpless, afraid, and hopeless, all the dark places you go when you know it's over, but you remain and stay and stay, and try and try again, only to come to the same terrible conclusions. I learnt to love myself first and foremost and to love myself sufficiently to go.

18.    As women, we have a natural desire to nest, nurture, and love. We sometimes try to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. Let them leave when they aren't right for you. I saw my mother do it for 20 years before doing it myself for four years. Fortunately, I learnt from my mother's mistakes.

19.    Whether it's flowers or sex positions, your companion is not a mind reading. You can't expect people to understand your wants and requirements until you tell them.

20.    It's not about finding the person with whom you want to live your life. It's about finding the person with whom you want to spend your life, like two distinct highways travelling in the same direction. It's the type of relationship you have with your sisters, closest friends, and, perhaps, a partner one day.



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